Ladies, please stop telling other women how good they look just because they are a size smaller.
This happened to me when I came back from overseas.
I had thin arms and a lot of women (funnily enough no males though) told me how ‘healthy’ I looked.
Initially, I was confused, because the truth was, I wasn’t healthy at all. I had badly injured my left shoulder and despite 12 months of rehab, I could barely lift a thing. I had no muscle left in my arms (see left picture)
I was miserable, but I kept getting told how happy I must be because I had lost weight.
To be honest, this was my first exposure to this world. Whenever my weight has changed in the past, it was never really an issue. I’m the kind of person that goes overseas, has a lot of fun, and comes back 10kgs heavier!
But because my friends and family don’t focus much on weight, they rarely make comments about it. And seeing as my weight doesn’t determine my happiness, I don’t think about it much either.
But my energy, strength and physical well-being do impact my happiness. And I was blown away by receiving so many comments about how good I looked when I felt so low.
I actually got quite angry because these women clearly weren’t seeing ‘me’, they were just looking at my body. These women weren’t asking me how I was, they were telling me that I should feel great because they thought I looked good.
I know that no harm was meant by the comments, but I hope you can see how they create a poisonous culture.
In the moment, I would have preferred people ask me how I was going and listen to how I was feeling, rather than focusing on my appearance.
There were even times when I told people that I wasn’t feeling great, and they responded with this, “well at least you look great”
Please, please never say this to anyone.
No woman should ever feel like her looks are more important than how she feels.
I hope I will never look like this again because this version of me didn’t have much energy or strength. This version of me certainly couldn’t do chin-ups or go skiing or play with my friends’ kids without worrying I’ll hurt myself.
Just because someone has lost weight, DOES NOT MEAN that they have gained health or happiness.